Tag: business values

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Being in community

Guest blog - Olivia Pitt - Olivia Pitt Coaching - Being in Community

As we approach the end of another year, I paused to reflect on how much ‘being in community’ has helped me to grow emotionally and spiritually, and as a businesswoman.

But what do I mean by ‘being in community’?  For me, it’s being an active member of a group that shares similar values.  It’s being in spaces where I feel safe and have a sense of belonging.  With lots of everyday demands and in the interest of self-care, I’ve had to be selective about how I spend my time. 

Here are 5 questions I ask when choosing a community:

Do we share similar values? 

If I’m investing time being involved in a group, it’s important that it’s about being supportive and celebrating each other.  One of the things I’m most proud of when it comes to the Curvy Convo community that I created for plus-size women is how much we celebrate the achievements of our members Curvy Convo – Olivia Pitt.  My ‘Keeping the Dream Alive’ coaching groups are perfect examples of this – check them out here: Group Coaching – Olivia Pitt.  I also get that same experience in my early morning circuit classes. There’s no competition, just support and encouragement to give things a go.      

What contribution could I make?

For me, it can’t be about just taking from the community.  What could I bring to the table? What value could I add?  My church community provides me with an opportunity to serve and lead, putting my skills, experience, and personality to good use.  In networking groups, bringing joy has often been the most valuable contribution I could bring.

What could I learn?

Stepping into the role of being a businesswoman was alien to me after having been an employee for most of my working life.  There were so many things I had to learn (and unlearn!), and I’ve been blessed to find a space in a business coaching group where I can be completely myself, unembarrassed about my lack of knowledge in some areas and fighting off impostor syndrome when it rears its ugly head. 

How will it help me to grow?

I’ve been ‘doing life’ with other women of faith as a member of a mentoring group since 2014.  This is where I learned about my identity and unique design.  It helped me to understand myself a whole lot more than I ever did!  I discovered that I am gifted in encouraging others. In the past two years, I’ve intentionally spent time with other women who share my gifting.  This has helped me to confidently flow in my gifting, in complete alignment with my business as a Life Coach.

Can I really be myself?

In safe communities, I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable and let my guard down so people can see beyond the smiles and laughter.  I’ve shown up at times when I’ve felt broken, rejected, mentally drained, a failure.  In virtual spaces, I’ve done the makeup-free, braless in PJs showing up as well – this all counts!

So, my question is, are you in community? You don’t have to navigate life on your own.  You have nothing to prove.  There’s so much to be gained by meaningfully connecting with others. As you enter a new year, maybe it’s time to consider who you could ‘do life’ with. You might be the missing piece of the puzzle that the group needs.  Go for it!

Interested in finding out more? Let’s chat: Contact – Olivia Pitt You can find me on socials Courage Cultivating Coach (@oliviapittcoaching) • Instagram photos and videos or (13) Olivia Pitt Coaching | Facebook

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Do you ever feel you’re pulling yourself in different directions?

A woman going in different directions.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

I don’t think I’m alone in having a lot of different things in my life. We’ve all got those metaphorical balls (the ones we juggle, but occasionally the other kind too). There’s all the life stuff; the home, partner, kids, family and friends. Delete or add as applicable. I keep finding myself saying ‘let’s have a catch up soon’, then organising a coffee takes about a year. That’s even before I get to the bit where I run a business too. You’ve heard all this before, I know. The only reason I’m talking about it now is because I seem to have had an influx recently. There’s been more paying work, which is extremely lovely. Conversations about self-care seem to have become a thing too. As I write this the words of a wise woman telling me I’m hearing it for a reason are floating at the front of my brain. There have been new ideas that I can’t seem to make a decision on. Then there have been people asking about my book. Have I told you about the book? Maybe I haven’t, so let’s start there.

It’s always been about the book

Before I had the faintest idea that I might write content marketing for businesses, I wrote stories. I know that we all did that at school, but I carried on. Ideas for crime novels pop into my head at regular intervals. The one I’m working on now existed as an idea for a few years before I started making some notes, writing random scenes as they occurred to me. When I was a commuter I wrote on the train. Now I’m editing; it feels as if I’ve rewritten the thing about eleven billion times but I could be exaggerating. It’s a murder mystery, set in Leicester and I’m almost ready to send it out into the world.

I think I might be scared

There’s the problem, you see. I feel as if everything has been pushing me towards this point. Even the self-care conversations, because I know I need to look after myself to deal with whatever different thing comes next. It’s also why I keep getting new shiny ideas. A bit of me wants to get on with it. A much bigger bit is utterly terrified. What if it’s rubbish? (Apparently most first novels are.) There are characters inspired by people I love and tiny snippets of my life in those pages. It feels personal. The other nagging feeling is the fact that being a published novelist is my dream. I don’t know what happens next if the dream comes true. Will my life still be my own if I take it in a different direction? Will I become a magnet for trolls on Twitter? No idea.

What shall I do next?

This is a silly question, isn’t it? I need to finish the two little edits that are bugging me and send my manuscript out for someone else to read. I’ve got friends who’ve offered and I know where to get a reader’s report. An author friend (yes, I have one of those) even got me an email address for a published crime writer who’s happy to look at a couple of chapters for me. So, I know the answer to my own question. I just need to get on and do it.

Why am I telling you this story? It’s because I’m a writer and that’s what I do. I can help you find the right story to tell in your marketing so you can attract wonderful new customers. If I can help you with that, let’s have a chat.

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How bullying shaped me

Bullying makes you stay silent.
Photo by Kat Smith from Pexels

I’ve talked about sharing your story in your marketing so many times, yet there’s one story that I’ve always held back. As I write this, I’m still wondering whether it will end up out in the world for you to read. The only reason I’m even considering it is because I know I can’t be the only one who’s had the same experience. I’ve been bullied more than once during my life. It would be easy to focus on the negative beliefs that come from that (and on a bad day, I definitely do). The years have given me perspective, so I’ve decided it’s time to tell my bullying story in case it helps you too.

The school bullies

I reckon most people must have their own version of this story. I went to a tiny primary school followed by a bigger middle school. The bullies singled me out as I was a clumsy bookworm. Not just a swot but too poorly co-ordinated to be good at either gymnastics or dancing. As far as my peers were concerned, I was utterly useless. I longed for anonymity. Thankfully senior school was better; there were more people like me and became invisible to the bullies. It was the first time I learned the importance of finding your people and I still use it today.

Bullying at work

I didn’t go to university straight from school, but took some time out, did other courses and ended up in the job from hell. I worked as an admin assistant (aka lowest of the low), with colleagues who didn’t like people with A-levels. There were times when my supervisor told me there wasn’t anything for me to do, but in the next breath would go and complain to the boss that I wasn’t pulling my weight. Anything that came out of my mouth was treated as an opportunity for a sarcastic comment or outright sneer. On the plus side, it made me realise that I did want to go to uni.

How it holds me back

Those days are gone, but some of the scars remain. When you’ve been treated as if you don’t belong you start to believe it. You think your feelings don’t matter and you don’t have the right to be considered. It’s easy to adopt a mindset where you don’t try new things or talk to new people because then you can’t be rejected. Yet I find myself here, with a business that depends on me promoting it. I fight the instinct to ‘not be a nuisance’ every time I market my business. It makes me wonder whether I’d do more if I didn’t feel this way.

What it’s taught me

I don’t know what my life would have been like if the bullying hadn’t happened. There are some positives; I’m aware of the mind monkeys that hold me back. Silencing the chatter has become a skill, although not an infallible one. I’m selective in who I trust so I’ve learned to listen. There have been people in my life that others regarded as a ‘good bloke’, when they were anything but. I’ve learned to observe and work out who they really are. That comes in handy when I’m writing for clients and being their voice. In that respect, it could be a gift.

Sharing stories like this one help your future clients to see you as a human being, not just a business. It doesn’t have to be as personal as this. If I can help you find the right story to use in your marketing, let’s have a chat.

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Why focus on the people who hate you?

A phone shows an angry emoji. I try to understand why you would focus on the people who hate you,
Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels

In the 5 and a bit years since I became a business owner, I’ve learned a lot about mindset and motivation. A fitness coach once told me that you needed to aim for a positive outcome as trying to avoid a negative one didn’t work. I repeated this theory during a writing workshop, run by one of the most insightful and encouraging women I’d ever met. I don’t know what I expected her response to be, but “b***ocks!” certainly wasn’t it! I understand that avoiding the worst can be a powerful motivator, but I’ve seen a trend among some people in my network that focuses on talking about the people who hate you. I don’t get it. Why would you focus on that?

The people

We can all think of people in the public eye (like Katie Hopkins) who seem to thrive on being hated. I get it, up to a point. If you find it easy to make controversial statements and it gets you work and fame, why wouldn’t you? The thing is, I’ve started to see other people doing it, whose businesses aren’t built around writing opinion pieces or turning up on TV as a talking head. I find it harder to understand why someone who runs an ordinary business should be shouting about being hated, yet I see it all the time.

Doubters vs haters

I feel it’s important to distinguish between the people who hate you and ones who are trying to protect you. Starting your own business is risky. You know it and the people who love you do as well. When I started out I was leaving a profession and a steady income behind. I had plenty of people tell me that I could always go back to it if things didn’t work out. I bet you did too. Hearing those kinds of comments could dent your confidence. They motivated me because I knew I didn’t want to go back. There’s a world of difference between that and trolls who send you abuse.

The people who hate you

When I hear most business owners talk about negative comments, they describe it as an annoyance. It’s something that takes time to deal with, often when they don’t have time and mental energy to spare. One business owner said that having haters is a sign you’ve made it, because it means that people are paying attention. There might be something in that, but if you’re talking about the people who hate you, why not mention the ones that love you too? Otherwise, it could just mean that your marketing isn’t reaching the right audience.

The psychology

It’s been a while since I studied psychology, so I did some revision to try and understand what’s going on. For a divisive celebrity, the appeal of being a hero to some could counteract the effect of being hated. It could also be their way of putting two fingers up at anyone who tells them what to think. My favourite approach is in a 2015 study which suggests that knowing who your enemies are makes the world feel safer, so drawing them out might have its benefits. I think we can all understand wanting to find a bit of certainty just now.

I’m not going to start celebrating hate (it still feels like a waste of precious time and energy) but it’s given me some insight into the ones who do. Personally, I’d prefer to focus on the people who like what I do, because they’re the ones I can help.

What do you think?

While you’re here, if you need help attracting the right kind of customers, let’s talk. You can book in for a chat here, or sign up for monthly hints and tips using the form below.

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Why do we find it so difficult to show the person behind the business?

I'm almost showing the person behind the business while having a cup of tea.
Photo by Amber Gosden

There are days when I sit down to write and it all just works. Today isn’t one of them. There are two sets of circumstances that allow me to just open a new document and get going. Firstly, there are the times that I have a plan. I’m either writing something for a client, where we’ve had a chat and I’ve got loads of notes, or it’s something I’ve written into my marketing planner because I think you’ll find it useful. Secondly, there are the days when I’ve got something to get off my chest. This is the stuff that sometimes doesn’t make it into print. It just feels good to write it down. When I’m wearing my fiction writing hat those words sometimes come back to me. They might not go into a finished piece, but it helps me get into the mindset of a character who’s thoroughly hacked off.

What’s the plan?

Today, I sat down with no idea what to write about. I’m a big believer in showing the person behind the business and being honest, but it’s not easy. I get frustrated at the way other people’s social media posts either pretend that everything in their life is perfect or exaggerate the misery. It’s the same in business. We feel as if we have to present a front that pretends business is easy and wonderful 100% of the time. Truth is, it isn’t. It’s frequently tough. It leads to those 3am crises of confidence where we sob and tell ourselves that we’ve made a horrible mistake. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it. I’d rather deal with the self-doubt than go back to having a boss. But does reminding you all that there’s a real person behind the business make me look weak?

Why am I telling you this?

You may be reading this (or perhaps you’ve given up) wondering what on earth I’m going on about. What’s the point? The point of the story is that we all struggle to know what to talk about in our marketing. What do we share and what do we leave out? It’s partly for me, to help me work out why I find it difficult to write when I don’t have a plan. I hope that it helps you to know that you’re not the only one who struggles. Most of us don’t tell the truth on social media (I know that isn’t a profound insight, but there you go). A lot of us leave out anything negative. If times are bad we don’t post at all. Some people just lie. Or exaggerate to add some drama.

What next?

If we want to show the person behind the business, where do we start? Do we post warts and all accounts of the doubts and fears along with the wins? Probably not. We all have things we can justifiably keep private. But maybe we can start sharing some of the eye roll moments, or the times when things don’t go to plan. Or when the plan didn’t exist in the first place.

As for me, I’m going to go back to my planner and think of more stories like this one. I might even look at ideas for strategies to use when your mind goes completely blank!

If you’d like regular tips and inspiration straight to your inbox, you can sign up for my emails using the form below. I won’t spam you or share your information with anyone else. Alternatively, book your slot here for a chat about how I can help you to create marketing content that tells your story and speaks your customers’ language.

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Top tips to help you identify and enforce strong and healthy boundaries

Many of us set up our own businesses so we can have more freedom and autonomy.  So we can dictate when and how we work, who we work for, how much money we earn and where we sped our time.  All this extra time we will have when there’s no boss dictating to us. 

Fast forward to being in the thick of running your own business and you wonder how you could have been so naïve!  Instead of just having your main role to do, you are now wearing ALL of the hats for your business – Accountant, Social Media Manager, Admin, Content Creator, Salesperson, Marketer to name just a few – leaving you with little very little of the headspace or freedom that you once imagined was part and parcel of being self employed. 

So how do you change that? 

One of the main ways is to get some clear boundaries in place.  Women tend to be people pleasers.  Most of my clients don’t want to let people down so take on too much and do everything for everyone else and actually let themselves down in the process. 

There’s lots of talk about setting healthy boundaries but what actually is a boundary? A boundary is an imaginary line that separates you from others and vice versa.  When you think of a physical boundary, it’s the image of a fence around a property to keep you safe inside and others from coming in.  But there is always a gate that swings both ways to allow ease and flow. 

These physical boundaries are clear for all to see but when we talk about emotional boundaries, they are much more difficult to recognise and enforce. 

But how do you go about recognising and setting boundaries when everything feels like it has a competing priority? 

Here are my top tips to identifying and enforcing strong and healthy boundaries 

  1. First of all, you need to identify what your boundaries are.  Boundaries are very unique to you as an individual so yours might be very different to your best friends’.  Spend some time (ideally a month so you can track it against your hormone cycle) noticing when someone has crossed your boundaries.  Blaming yourself, feelings of shame and guilt, justifying your behaviour, sensing that something is “off, using words like “should” are all signs that your boundaries are being crossed.  Make a note of when these situations occur, who you are with, time of day etc… It’s important not to judge these observations.  You are just collecting data to analyse. 
  2. When you have tracked these observations, take a look at what you have captured and look for any patterns.  Is there a certain day of the week or a particular activity you are carrying out or a certain person you are with etc… that triggers these uncomfortable feelings? 
  3. Name the emotion that you feel – angry, sad, frustrated.  When you do this, it detaches you from that emotion so that the feeling isn’t part of your identity, it is a feeling that will pass. 
  4. When you have identified any patterns and feelings that arise, explore what this means for you.  If it always happens with a certain client, is this someone you want to continue working with?  If it always happens at a certain time of the month, do you need to block time out of your calendar at that time in hour cycle for more self-nourishment?  
  5. When it comes to emotional boundaries, you need to make sure you communicate them.  This can be as simple as stating in your email signature or sending an automatic out of office that stipulates your working hours.  Make sure you stick to those hours.  If you have said you only respond between 9am – 5pm, be consistent with that message.  If you are catching up on work late at night, make sure you delay the delivery of your emails to the following morning at 9am so that people don’t expect you to be working late into the night. 
  6. For boundary setting on a more personal note, this can feel really vulnerable and scary so my advice is to start small.  Begin by communicating your boundarires to someone you know really well and feel comfortable with so it’s a safe space.  Eg this could be to your partner.  Let him or her know that they may see a change in your behaviour because you have realised that you need to set boundaries to protect your time / energy and health.  You don’t have to elaborate or explain further than that.  Just be clear that they will notice a change in you and invite them to help you stick to your new boundaries so it’s collaborative. 
  7. Invite and respect other people’s boundaries.  When collaborating, ask the other party what their boundaries are such as their working hours, what method of communication they prefer, what their non-negotiables are and share yours too from the outset.  This role models healthy boundaries for others too. 
  8. This will take practice so continually be on the look out for when boundaries are crossed as in point one above.  Be consistent and tweak your boundaries as they evolve.  They will change in new situations and different times in your life so make sure you make it a regular practice to notice and enforce healthy boundaries.  You will notice a positive change in your mental and physical wellbeing as a result and although tricky at first, will result in healthier relationships with less resentment and guilt. 

About Ellie

I’m a strengths & leadership coach based in South Manchester.  I’m a mum of 3 little hurricanes, wife, recovering perfectionist and introvert.

I was a coach before I even realised it.  People used to say how natural I was at developing others but didn’t really understand what that meant.  It turns out I have made a career out of it in various guises throughout my 15 years of leadership within large organisations.

I have combined my coaching skills with my passion for helping people thrive in their working life by setting up Elevate with Ellie in January 2021 where I specialise in helping small business owners get the best out of their people.

Here is where you can find out more about me:

www.elevatewithellie.co.uk

https://www.instagram.com/elevatewithellie

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellie-lloyd-jones-leadershipcoach

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Do you share your values in your marketing?

Woman smiling at phone. Sharing values in marketing.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Marketing (and especially the selling part of marketing) can make a lot of us feel deeply icky. We know we need to sell stuff to make a living but the idea of giving anyone the hard sell just feels wrong. There are lots of solutions to this. One is acknowledging that you’re offering your customers something they want or need and you aren’t forcing them to buy anything. Good marketing is persuasive, not forceful. You show your customers how you can help them in a way that makes it easy for them to say yes. The thing is, a lot of the time they aren’t just saying yes to your product or service. They’re saying it to you. When you share your values in your marketing you help them to make a decision. Here’s how it works.

Why you need to share your values in your marketing

Every successful business shares its values in its marketing somewhere. Even Amazon. They could be about pricing, service or product quality. It all means that when you buy from them you know what you’re getting.

The same applies to small businesses, but there’s a bit more to it. A huge corporation needs overarching brand values because of the number of people involved. When the business is just you it can be more about your personal values. Sharing those means that your customers can recognise you as one of their people. It just makes you more relatable.

What are your values?

What do you stand for? You might think that most of us have the same values – truth, justice… wait, that’s Superman. The values that matter to your customers might be closely aligned with your personal views. Maybe you set up your business to create cruelty free cosmetics or environmentally friendly products. Share what sets you apart.

Sometimes values are intangible. Perhaps the things you stand for are more about how you treat people. Maybe you’re great at going above and beyond in your customer service or at keeping in touch with your customers. It can be more difficult to share that in your marketing but it’s worth doing.

Sharing your values regularly helps you build trust

This is related to the idea that sharing your values makes you relatable. That could prompt you to say ‘right, I’m going to go and write a mission statement on my website and a blog about my values.’ That’s fine, but it isn’t the whole picture.

Giving your customers a regular reminder that you stand for the things you say you do them to believe it. Testimonials are perfect for showing future customers that your promises are backed up by other happy clients and you don’t have to write them yourself.

It doesn’t have to be a mission statement

A mission statement can work brilliantly if it’s something your customers will like. It sets out your values clearly and it can be a great thing to look at if you’re wondering why you started this business in the first place. I’d recommend putting it on your about page so people learn about you and what you stand for at the same time. If you do go for it, remember that you still need to talk about your values in other places too.

Of course, you don’t have to write a mission statement if you don’t want to. If you think they’re pretentious your customers will too.

Need a website that shows customers what you stand for? Or a regular blog where you can share your values? Get in touch or sign up to my mailing list for hints and tips straight to your inbox every month.